| | "I just--I just don't even want to be doing this, sitting here, doing nothing."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, okay, we're sitting here talking about this and that we don't like about our lives, but... It just feels so lame; I mean, if we don't like-- If I don't like my life, if I want something to change in my life, then I should just change it."
"Well, yeah, I mean, I agree with you. I completely agree with that."
"But?"
He inhaled. "Easier said than done."
"Well, heh, yeah, I guess... but, heh, it's easier to say 'easier said than done' than to... do what... you say."
"Uh..."
"Shut up, I just mean that maybe it's just a cop-out to... let things be 'too difficult' and not actually push ourselves to do them."
"Eh, yeah, I just... My brother died three years ago, and I still... I want to get over it; I want so bad to figure out how to really come to terms with it. But it just feels--" sighing heavily, "I still can't get it to not make me feel guilty. I don't want to push him out. I don't want to forget him. It's still even hard for me to... talk about it, like it just feels wrong. The whole goddamn thing feels completely wrong and impossible and irreconcilable."
She stared at him soberly.
"Some things are just shit. Some things just fucking suck and there's no goddamn thing you can do about them. And maybe the only way to be completely honest and healthy or whatever about it is to acknowledge that disgusting truth, that shit is shit."
She rubbed the side of her face, almost scraping. "There has to be some way to be happy, though."
"Yeah, I know. I know."
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| | Posted 4/20/2007 1:30 AM - 63 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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